The next question is: “What does the Bible say about deviant sex? Is there any reason to feel guilty about using handcuffs, role-playing, or experimenting with dominant/submissive games?” I hesitate to deal with a question like this in a setting like this, but it troubles me so much that Christians could so lack biblical discernment that I think that I should. I also think that, given the debauched stated of sexuality in our age, we ought to be eager for opportunities to speak on this subject.
One of the purposes of sex is recreational. For those who practice sex within the safe confines of marriage, God intends it to be a source of enjoyment. There is no reason to insist, therefore, that sex be boring or mundane or routine. But it is always the devil’s desire to corrupt things that God has made pure and good, and in a sexually debauched age like ours we ought to protect our sexuality from filth and sin.
Hebrews 13:4 says to keep the marriage bed pure. Surely that means more than having only one partner; it also means that the way we love should be pure and chaste. Love-making is an exercise in mutual-servanthood. It is ministering to the physical and emotional needs of your mate, and involves a spiritual union. It is impossible for me to imagine how domination games fit in with this. You should never ask your spouse to do anything humiliating or harmful. We do not make sex exciting by degrading one another but by nurturing love through selfless ministry and cherishing the husband or wife God has given us. If you are married to a Christian, the person with whom you have sex is a daughter or son of the Heavenly Father. Keep that in mind and honor the gift that he has given.
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