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By Laurissa Backlin, when she joined Tenth in the fall of 2005
I am so grateful to the Lord for giving me wonderful Christian parents who, from the beginning of my life, taught me about God’s love through Jesus’ death on the cross. They were faithful in bringing me to church and Sunday School each week and it was there that I trusted in Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour at five years old. My Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Kutz, explained how Jesus died for the world, and if anyone believed in Him and asked Him into his heart, he would be saved and would go to Heaven when he died. Mrs. Kutz asked our small class (about five of us) if anyone would like to pray to Jesus right then and there and I raised my hand and said I would. I prayed a simple prayer admitting I was sinner who needed to be cleansed by Jesus’ blood and asked Him into my heart.
I know my prayer was real and that I understood what I was doing. However, it wasn’t until I went to Wheaton College that I realized what it truly meant to be a Christian. Surrounded by wonderful people of faith, both students and faculty, I saw that their faith meant more to them than mine did. I was a Christian, yes. But I now wanted to know God in a deeper way and really entrust my present and future life in His hands. I joined a Bible study and discovered the joy of praying for each other while learning how awesome God truly is. I will always look back on my college years as the first step of real spiritual growth in my life.
Since then, I’ve had more spiritual hills and valleys, times when I haven’t wanted to pray on a regular basis. But praise God that His love for me is not performance-based! He wants me to commune with Him because He loves me and because He knows I will benefit from it. Like a good marriage, both partners need to talk and listen to each other. With the Lord’s help, I’m spending more time with Him in prayer and through regular Bible reading.
God is working on me all the time. He is teaching me that He and only He can supply my needs. I have a tendency to think “If only I had more money I’ll be happy.” Obviously, this is not the case. If I lost everything, would I still trust in His love for me? I know I couldn’t do it on my own strength. I’m discovering more and more how much I need Him in every aspect of my life. I’m also learning that I need to give things up to Him and not take them back so I can worry about them. He really does want what’s best for me. What I think is best is not necessarily what He knows is best. Even though I can’t always figure out the reasons now, He sees the big picture and I’m trusting that He knows what He’s doing.
I’m a work in progress and thankful to be going to a church like Tenth where the Word is preached faithfully. I’m looking forward to learning as much as I can!
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